Where's Bobby's Girl? Music of the 60s.

I have been thinking lately about the songs of the 60s, when lyrics seemed to fall into two categories: boy lyrics and girl lyrics. Not the fast tunes, I'm talking about the heart breaking, sad, slow dance songs that I believe had a theme. Boy lyrics revolved around unrequited love in the style of Roy Orbison and Bobby Vinton or death and sadness songs such as Tell Laura I Love Her. The boy loses the love of his life because she dies, he dies or he simply loses her to someone else. If it's the latter, he always sees her again and that's when we hear his plaintive song, 'Yes, now you're gone, And from this moment on, I'll be crying, Crying, crying, yeah crying'

Girl lyrics leaned toward desperation. Desperation to find true and lasting love. Songs of such neediness the singer throws herself at the feet of the object of her undying love. Songs like I Will Follow Him “I will follow him, Follow him wherever he may go.....” Or the hit, Johnny Get Angry, the lyrics begging the boyfriend to be more manly and get angry and....”I want a brave man, I want a cave man. Johnny show me that you care, really care for me.” The song implies that an angry boyfriend who yells at you and punches other people to show his love for you is desirable. In Bobby's Girl – the singer implores the heavens...”If I was Bobby's girl, If I was Bobby's girl, What a faithful thankful girl I'd be.” The word 'thankful' is just a little disturbing.

Now, don't get me wrong. I loved those songs back then, I still do today. But I wonder what impact those kinds of words had on impressionable young girls. The words seemed to be telling us, the females of the species, we needed a man to look after us no matter what. We needed a man to validate our existence and make our lives full and meaningful and we should have been thankful when it happened. Were we so desperate for love we would throw away any other ambitions and simply wait to be married to Johnny or Bobby or Bill thinking that was the end? Marriage was the end and there was nothing else beyond that? Kind of like fairy tales that end with the line, “And they lived happily ever after.”, taking for granted that the story ends right there with the marriage. Mission accomplished, nothing left to attain.

What happened to we girls from the 60s who listened to 'desperation songs'? Did we start out staring dreamily at a boy with a big head of Fabian type hair willing him to notice us? When he noticed us, did we forsake all others, even our closest girlfriends, and live only for his calls and our Friday night dates? Did the inevitable happen and we too got a fairy tale ending that read, 'And they lived happily ever after'? 

Personally, I've never believed that the words of a song could mold someone's life. I think those of us who danced to Johnny Angel in the arms of our high school sweethearts knew it was a song. When you're young, swaying to a slow song with your boyfriend is about as romantic as it gets. Once the music stopped or the song dropped out of the top 20 we moved on to the next hit. They were only words, after all, simple words meant to rhyme and fit the music for which they were written.

And what of us girls who swayed to those songs with the dreamy look in our eyes? What became of us? Many of us believed the dream and married our high school sweethearts at a young age; some successfully and some not so successfully. Some who were not successful moved right along through life and changed and grew. Some were college and university graduates who paved the way for women behind them in traditionally male professions. Many fought, marched for and brought about change. Those same girls became legal minds and doctors and executives while raising families. Women with a purpose.

Of course we swayed to the sentimental words, clutched to the boyfriend of the moment. That's what being young was, but, that didn't, in any way, mold or define our lives. At least, I don't believe it did. We were smart enough to know they were just words. Goofy, sentimental, simple, yet compelling words set to lyrical music so we could dance. Now, when we hear those same songs on some oldie station, memories transport us back in time. Once again, wearing our culottes, madras shirts and penny loafers, we feel the arms of our high school sweetheart around us and, once more, dance to our favourite slow song.