Black Phone to Blackberry

      I have lately observed the amount of communication that seems to be going on these days by way of cell phones and Blackberry type devices. What I've observed is this – there is a lot of it.

      In a quick flash back, imagine the house of your childhood. There was, in all likelihood, one phone. It was black with a curly cord, perched on a telephone stand in the hallway and reserved for important communications. Sundays when the rates were cheaper long distance calls were made. The entire family sat next to the phone awaiting their turn. Swift sentences were used while someone watched the clock intently to make sure no one ran over the allotted time.

      An innovation called 'the extension' then made its way into our homes. Mom didn't have to run into the hallway to get the phone, wiping her wet hands on a towel. She could now take calls while continuing to cook our dinners on the wall phone in the kitchen. Some of my luckier friends had an extension in their bedroom, a very pretty, sleek little phone in pink called “the Princess Phone”. A little light came on so you could dial, secretly, in the dark. Phoning continued to be limited to a certain amount of time in the evening and still reserved for important stuff. Calling your friend to see what they were wearing to school the next day didn't fall into that category.

      Long distance operators went the way of the dinosaur, rates went down and phoning became more common. Enter the answering machine. Instead of counting the rings, “One, five, thirteen....., they must be out.” you would hear the garbled voice of your friend, “You've reached 555-1212. We are not home. At the sound of the beep please leave your name, number, and the reason you called and we will phone you back.” After giggling and feeling a bit self-conscious you may or may not have left a message. Sometimes you just hung up and your friend never knew you called.

      The answering machine gave way to voice mail. Suddenly every business you called had voice mail. Instead of a friendly voice on the other end of the phone you heard something like this. “Thank you for calling Igor's Electronics. This is Stephanie, your intelligent, automated voice message system. If you know the extension of the person you wish to speak with, dial it now. To speak to an operator stay on the line and listen to this really cheesy music for about 30 minutes.” It never actually said that about the cheesy music but we quickly learned that's what would happen. By the time 'Stephanie' announced herself, we were usually beginning to fume. Suddenly we couldn't talk to anyone who was human. We were unsure whether or not our messages ever got through. We didn't get off the phone smiling and assured that anyone would get back to us.

      Cell phones and Blackberry-type devices are the new wave of our society. Everyone has them and seems to be attached to them. It's amazing to me what is so urgent and all powerful that it has to be discussed while walking down the aisle of a grocery store. The phone chatterers have abandoned all manners and all efforts to effectively communicate in person because they are busy on their phones. Food is ordered in a restaurant, groceries are tallied at checkout lines, banking is done all the while on the phone. Don't you think the person who is serving us, checking our groceries and taking our deposits deserves recognition for actually standing in front of us, in the flesh, helping us?

      This brings us to texting. People text each other to describe every little detail of their day. People can't socialize with the friends in front of them because they are texting friends who aren't in front of them. Teens sit in groups, fingers flying over keys, sending abbreviated messages like, “wazup”, “c u 2nite”, “skewl so not kewl” and so on. Teenagers have always wanted to be different, that part I get. What I object to is the constant texting and talking on the phone while doing something else. I know how I would feel if I was with a friend who was constantly texting and talking on the phone - unimportant, a bit hurt and just a little angry.

      It's not just teens. Adults are just as guilty. Couples, out to dinner, talk on their respective cell phones. People in business meetings are constantly looking down, checking for, sending and receiving messages. Technology is good. Businesses can run more efficiently. Being able to keep in touch with friends and family instantly and whenever you need to is good. But, I wonder, isn't experiencing the moment you are in more vital and important than constantly checking to see what, if anything, you might be missing?

On Missing Ed Sullivan

I was thinking about Ed Sullivan this evening. It’s Sunday, dinner is done and there’s nothing entertaining on television on Sunday night any more. Cartoons and made for TV movies don’t seem to scream out “watch me”. The show Criminal Minds just creeps me out. The current barrage of amateurs trying to be professionals via shows such as So You Think You Can Dance (Canada) and American Idol are a little too dramatic for my tastes. Having the loser stand there to be humiliated for twenty minutes before his or her name is called is a bit harsh, in my opinion. Along with millions of other North Americans back in the 60s, I used to rush home on Sunday night to watch The Ed Sullivan Show. That’s where you found everyone at eight o’clock on Sunday night. That’s where the entertainment was.

Every week was different yet every week was the same. The guests changed, the format didn’t. There was someone for everyone. If you were a comedy fan you were always in luck. There was a comedian pretty much every week. Rich Little, Alan King, John Byner and Frank Gorhswin were all on there. Ed was good at introducing new talent and he was particularly fond of comedians, even the raunchy ones like George Carlin. Bet you can’t guess which comedy act was on his show more than any other? Well, it’s Canada’s own Wayne and Shuster.

If you were a Broadway enthusiast you too were in luck. There would be songs from current hits performed by the cast, scenery and all. I always loved it when Robert Goulet came on so I could hear Ed butcher his name......”Right here on our stage, from Canada, young Robert Goooooolet.” Cracked me up every time.

I suppose there were folks out there who enjoyed watching the plate twirlers, the tumblers, the assortment of jugglers, the knife throwers, the magicians, lion tamers and the other weirdos (my opinion only, of course) who Ed managed to scrape up each week. That time I reserved for pouring a Coke because the commercials were few and far between back then and there wasn’t that much time during the real breaks to do much.

Ed had some very strange yet much loved acts who were semi-regulars. There was Topo Gigio, the creepy little mouse who used to ask of Ed, “Eddy, kiss me good-night.” and much to our horror and delight Ed, the stalwart, no expression, no personality Ed, would plant a big fat one on Topo Gigio’s little round cheek. Not my favourite guest - probably due to an aversion of rodents in any form. There was the guy who talked to his hand and also had a box and the box used to say, “Say good-night. Good-night.” Kind of funny in a strange way.

There were the standard ballad singers who came on. Steve Lawrence and Eydie Gorme, the husband and wife team who I thought had to be the happiest couple on earth, were regulars. The surprising Gomer Pyle, out of character and being himself, Jim Nabors, with his unbelievable voice. Somehow though, it was always hard to take him seriously, and he was always Gomer Pyle impersonating a real singer. I remember the night Greg Morris (the guy on Mission Impossible who did all the intricate twiddling of objects that eventually blew up) was on the show to sing. After the orchestra had played the opening stanza at least three times, Greg finally, out of stage fright, talked the words instead of singing them. Ed Sullivan show was live so there was no taping, retaping, lipsynching, it was all real and in the moment. My favourite of the old time ballad singers was Jack Jones, one of the best and underrated singers of his time. He had a perfect pitch voice, was pretty to look at but sang fairly dull songs most of the time. Mel Torme was another guest - poor Mel, who had no chin, and sang in a style that irritated me no end - but he had talent. I just didn’t like the Frank Sinatra wannabes.

The big build up of all these comedians, tumblers, knife throwers, Broadway acts and ballad singers was the inevitable and much anticipated rock and roll act. Ed never disappointed. He liked being on the cutting edge of his time and showing current trends and rock certainly was cutting edge and a very current trend. On his show he had Elvis (he was not actually there for the initial ‘unveiling’ of Elvis, having been hospitalized at the time of Elvis’ first appearance), he had the first American sighting of the Beatles (something he orchestrated and was proud of), Roy Orbison, The Dave Clark Five (most appearances by a rock and roll group due to their clean cut appearance), The Mamas and Papas, Sonny and Cher, The Rolling Stones - they were all there. He banned The Doors after their first appearance. We were treated to them all.

Ed Sullivan started out his career as a boxer who became a sports writer. From there he moved to be a real competitor of Walter Winchell. Walter was a famed columnist who wrote from a table at The Stork Club in New York about the comings and goings of New York’s rich, famous and infamous, basically a gossip column. Ed, when he came up against Walter, outdid him in spades. He took a table at The El Morocco night club and became more famous than Walter ever was and outlasted him.

Ed always had a kind of dour expression with no actual talent or acting ability. It was said of him by comedian, Alan King, “He will last as long as someone else has talent.” He had an inert understanding of what the public wanted and he gave it to them. His show aired from 1948 - 1971, and remains one of the longest running variety shows in television history. At the end of each show he told us who next week’s guests would be. The anticipation stayed with us all week.

It’s Sunday night, and I’m twiddling my thumbs because there is nothing on television. I miss The Ed Sullivan Show.

On Deciding to Write About Baby-Boomers

Writing articles for the Voice, now the Observer, is a wonderful experience that is enriching my life in several ways. Firstly, I absolutely love the process of getting an idea and working it, changing it, adding to or taking away from it until I end up with something that is readable and makes a certain amount of sense. Secondly, I love the people. While doing a series of articles on why people who left Brockville at one point in their lives chose to return to live here, I had the pleasure of sitting down with and talking to some pretty interesting people. Thirdly, I just get a kick out of doing it.

Lately I have been leaning toward writing this column with a theme so that each article is relevant to all the others. The theme that keeps jumping out at me is Baby Boomer. Being one myself, that seems to be the most natural demographic to pick for my subject matter. There are a whole lot of us Baby Boomers out there with plenty to say. A Baby Boomer, by definition, is one of the 'boom' of kids born after World War II right up until about 1964. The decline in births around 1964 is attributed to couples waiting longer to have families due to more women in the work force and oral contraception becoming widely available.

As the largest segment of the population ever, Baby Boomers have wielded quite a bit of power over the last fifty or so years. We have started and maintained many trends. As the major contributors to the economy, we have seen companies worldwide gear their products to us. Our age group was, and still is, the big money spender and we continue to get all the attention.

When we were teenagers, the record industry focused its production on our needs. Rock and roll records were churned out by the millions. Hollywood made movies with themes and issues relevant to teens and young adults. More and more magazines aimed at teenagers surfaced. A few kids in Philadelphia, dancing for the cameras on American Bandstand, became household names. All we girls wanted hair like Bunny and a very cool boyfriend. All the boys wanted Bunny.

Suddenly there were ‘labels’. We had to have certain brands of shoes, clothing, make-up. We created our own style. Jordache jeans, Bass Weejuns loafers, Beatles haircuts for the boys along with, madras and button down shirts were the order of the day. Our insatiable appetites spawned drive-in restaurants and our food was served by girls on roller skates.

And now here we are, the Baby Boomers, all grown up. We’ve made the transition from teeny-boppers to seniors with stops along the way to be protesters, young upwardly mobile professionals, and the comfortably middle-aged. Our children now have children. We turn around and, suddenly, there behind us, stretching out behind us.....we see our lives. Oldies stations play the rock and roll we danced to, our favourite movies are being shown on classic movie channels; our lives have become fodder for nostalgia. Since we are still the generation with the most spending clout the powers that be are gearing up to look after us when we are unable to do so ourselves. The number of homes for seniors that are springing up around us is testament to our numbers.

The pampering of our age group hasn’t stopped; there are many perks to being a Baby Boomer. We are probably the most affluent ‘aging’ population ever. We still travel, we socialize, we get involved even more than our parents did and we are a pretty darned interesting bunch. We are healthy and young in spirit. We think nothing of changing careers mid-stream and re-inventing ourselves when the need arises.

There is a wealth of topics waiting to be scrutinized and written about and in keeping with the Baby Boomer theme, here are some of the subjects I should like to write about and share with you. How are we going to fill our days once we retire? How do we feel about being grandparents? If we suddenly find ourselves single, how do we cope? Is there still romance?

There will be many other subjects that I find myself wondering about or my friends are concerned about. As they occur to me I shall endeavour to write about them. I’m not going to attempt to problem solve or put forward my own personal opinions; rather I will leave you the readers to your own solutions and opinions.

I think we all have a unique story to tell; some stories a little more dramatic than others, some a little more humorous and some a little more poignant. It would be wonderful to speak with some over-fifties out there so I can relate your point of view to the readership of this newspaper. I am going to enjoy writing these articles and will rely on you, the over-fifties in Brockville, to be my stimulus. I hope to write on behalf of us all.